Dear Skoal-dipping Cowboys of the World,

If you insist on partaking in this vile habit, don’t do it in public. And by public, I mean any place where you will need to converse with other, non-vile human beings. The library, for example, is not the place to suck back on a wad of dip, especially if you want to talk to someone.
And if you must walk around with a chuck of processed tobacco shoved in you lip, have the common decency to spit you waste in anything other than a CLEAR BOTTLE. I hear coke cans work well, especially with that little dip-spitting accessory you can buy at any truck stop on any highway in America.
The Rest of Civilized Humanity.
Disclaimer: There’s nothing wrong with dipping or chewing or snusing or whatever, other than the whole cancer thing. And the bad breath. And the ruined teeth. And the cost to taint your spit. But, you know what, it’s your mouth. It’s your throat. It’s your business. So long as it’s on a construction site. Or a rig. Or a boat. Or at a ball game. Or the rodeo. Or the festival. Or the park. Or the privacy of your own yard. Essentially, anywhere outside, and not in a clear vessel.
Also, well aware not all cowboys dip, and not all dippers are cowboys. The particular dipper who incited this post is a cowboy. At least that’s what I assume based on the cowboy hat, cowboy boots, cowboy shirt, Wrangler jeans, and giant-ass belt buckle.
Oh, and if you follow this blog in GoogleReader or some equivalent program (this means you, Honey), I don’t know what all this shit at the bottom is about. Unless, of course, this only applies to me and my Reader, in which case, just ignore me.
AND I totally can’t figure out why the formatting around here is so effed up. Sorry. I’ll ask Dave to fix it.
Honey, will you fix this mess, please? (Insert big brown eyes and manipulative pout here.)

2 thoughts on “Dear Skoal-dipping Cowboys of the World,

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